Farewell Gregory

I’ve been vacillating for a while, trying to decide what my first substack post might be. There are nearly a dozen pieces, half-written, waiting for me to finish. Yet today, I felt moved to say a little something about someone who meant an awful lot to me, even though I didn’t really know him.

I don’t want every post to be a sad one, but I have had more than my fair share of grief over the past few years, so be forewarned. Losses never get easier to bear, but as I get older, and hopefully wiser, I am finding that along with the inevitable sadness, each event brings along an invitation for reflection and appreciation for what those we’ve lost have meant in our lives.

Gregory Scott was such a lovely young man. I found him on YouTube more than a decade ago, thanks to the recommendation of a very good friend.

He would pull three tarot cards every day, providing a general reading for anyone who watched. He and his voice were incredibly comforting. I feel lucky that I got to tell him that once, when I finally allowed myself to splurge on one of his astrological readings, which took place on Labor Day in 2023.

I had such a wonderful experience with it, I bought one as a gift for Darren, too, who had his reading on Memorial Day 2024. But apart from those events and a comment here or there that he acknowledged, that was the extent of our interactions.

Nevertheless, he was an enormous part of my life. I fell asleep almost every night with his voice keeping me company from my bedroom television, either reading the tarot, or describing what was happening with the planets and stars. I would click the “play all” button & let him go as I drifted.

I learned SO much from him. I fell in love with tarot because of him. He made it feel accessible, and not frightening at all, as my upbringing had taught me to consider any sort of fortune-telling. That wasn’t what he was doing. He instead was linking the cards to a higher (or at least different) level of wisdom, and he would interpret what he thought their messages meant.

There were many times my thoughts from the day threatened to disturb my sleep, but his soothing tones in my room always reminded me of continuing goodness in the world. Anything that might have been bothering me would start to shrink away as my focus shifted to things for which I could feel gratitude.

I don’t know yet what happened, just that he is no longer with us on this earthly plane. I found this out early today, the 8^th anniversary of my mother’s passing. I also found out shortly after a highly unusual post-midnight visit from a dove to our balcony. My first thought was a hope that somehow my mom might connect with him, letting him feel how much love and appreciation so many people held for him because of what he gave us so generously and so reliably on his little channel.

I lit a candle for him, and I noticed the time was 10:22am. 22 is my number for my Dad. When I see it, I think of him. I like thinking it might be a wink from him, an acknowledgement that a part of him is with me in that moment. Perhaps he might connect with Gregory and convey love to him, too.

I sat down with the cards Gregory designed several years ago, “a tarot of positive clarity.” I pulled three cards, as he so often did. First up was the High Priestess. In the booklet, he described her with the words “greater wisdom.” That’s who he had been for me in many respects during his time on earth, a soul strongly connected to a higher realm who gently imparted insights with us.

The next card was the Tower. “Only when something that shakes us happens can we restart and find a new beginning.” One thing about him that I was drawn to was how he interpreted every card with optimism, even those that might seem horrifying on the surface. “Blessings in disguise,” he says about this card. It seemed like it might represent whatever happened to him. Yet it also symbolizes this past year for me, in that bits of my life were uprooted with unexpected upheaval. While I’ve been left with many moments of reeling and worry, I still hold firmly to hope and to absolute certainty that I’m heading for something better I might otherwise have missed.

The third and final card was the Sun. I had a moment of disbelief and amazement when I saw it. I secretly hoped I might see that card, but I pulled randomly from the deck, just as I’d watched him do thousands of times before. It happens to be my favorite card in the tarot. Gregory would often hold live readings on his channel, where viewers would comment with requests that he pull a card for them. In all those times, I only asked for a card once, and he pulled the Sun card for me. He declared it meant “jumping for joy.” In his booklet, he describes the card this way: “After the night there is the day… There are moments that are just to be enjoyed, lived fully, without regrets.”

It felt like a message from him, those three cards. This wise soul has taken an exit through some “tower”-like event and is now more than ok; he’s “jumping for joy.” It’s a little bit reassuring. It made me smile despite teary eyes, but I will miss him for a long, long time to come. And I will be grateful for having found him and that he shared his wisdom so warmly with all of us. Rest in sunshiny joy, sweet Gregory.

💙🌻☀